MEGHAN LAWSON - MOMMY SELF-CARE AND MOMMY GUILT!
The Nest's Noticings for the Week...
Favorite Product: Ole Henriksen Truth on the Glow Vitamin C Wipes – kept in the refrigerator for a little pick-me-up and bit of self-care first thing in the morning. :)
Parenting Resource or Tip: Check out this Meghan-recommended TED talk on finding thin slices of joy. :) (Meghan hasn't sent me this link yet but I will post it as soon as I get it from her!!!)
Baby Signs to Use: Happy, Sad, Mad
Baby Songs to Sing: Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider
Quick and Easy Recipe: Check out these super easy, quick, and flexible (use what you have in the fridge/pantry!) chicken burritos.
Developmental Play Tip: What kind of toys should you buy for your baby? Generally speaking, the simpler the better! Blocks, dolls, cars, plastic farm/animal sets, dress up things, etc. are the best learning toys because they encourage your baby to explore freely. Your baby makes the sounds when playing with these toys, uses their imagination, and controls the way they play with them. Watch out for toys that claim to be teaching your young baby – they ironically are generally not the best learning toys! Many experts recommend leaving the batteries out of electronic toys at home so that your child does the work when playing with the toy – not the toy! For “battery toys” I always look for toys that practice cause and effect, and I rotate them to save my sanity. ;)
Today's Topic: PUTTING YOUR AIR MASK ON FIRST!
I hope that this topic inspired you to find some little slices of happiness in your day and to put the air mask on yourself first! I am constantly working on this and loved hearing your ideas for self-care. Thanks for sharing. :)
Meghan Lawson was our guest speaker today. Here is her contact information:
Meghan Lawson, LPCC, NCC
310) 933-4475 x2
Books Meghan recommended: (Click on each title for more information or for a link to purchase)
Taking care of self:
It is vital that we be open and talk about failures as much as we talk about successes.
Rule of Self Preservation: Take care of yourself first. If we are depleted, we can’t fully give of ourselves to our children. Sometimes we need to take a pause, take a step-back and take good care of ourselves.
It is bold and brave to ask for help and even more brave to accept it.
When you get that feeling of needing to push away, that’s a sign that you need to do something to take care of yourself.
What does good self care look like?
- Possibly a day off – trust husbands! – allow your husband to do more – hand over decision-making and responsibility.
- A woman who takes good self-care demonstrates to her husband and children that she is important. Tell yourself, “I deserve this!” as cheesy as that is. :)
- We are more emotionally stable when we are able to take better self-care.
- When you ask yourself, “Is my child okay?”, also ask, “Am I okay?” If the answer is no, it’s time to practice more self-care.
- Know how to pick your battles. Nurse in a supine position or simply lay down for 5 minutes during your day – studies show that laying down is refreshing even if it’s only for 5 minutes or a toddler is climbing on you too!
Self-Care - Here's a list of many of the ways that moms in our classes practice "self care". Not all of these will work for you - find the ones that are within reach and are rejuvenating for you!
1. Ask for and accept help
2. Own your bad days! Speak it out loud – you’re allowed to have bad days! Saying it allows it to get out of your system.
3. Set barriers – say no! If you feel you need to push away, do it, with gentleness.
4. Join a community like the Nest or facebook groups.
5. We cannot put the responsibility on our baby to fill our emotional needs. Let little pieces of joy fill you up as the day goes on.
6. Facetime with a girlfriend
7. Try the EASY schedule with your baby, so every cycle of baby’s nap, you are doing something for yourself. (The Y sounds for You time.)
8. Have your husband take a shift. Let go and let your husband take over.
10. Have a good village! A group of mommy friends that have kids that are the same age. Or a group of retired friends that will hold and take care of your baby!
11. Wine and shopping
12. Meditation on YouTube
13. Accept help from grandparents
14. Nap when they nap!
15. Coffee in the morning
16. Power-walking with a neighbor or friend
17. Take a walk and talk to neighbors
18. Vent! Be humble with one another. Also don’t be embarrassed to toot your own horn!
19. Mom's Morning Out - Look into programs at Journey of Faith (long waitlist) or Hope's Chapel
20. Have daddy take baby for a walk in the morning and use the time to sleep, shower, or get ready for the day.
21. Massages – Massage Envy in Hermosa is open as late as 9.
22. Do nothing! Enjoy a day where you don’t go anywhere, don’t get dressed, and don’t put on makeup.
Be aware of the pitfalls of comparisons when in social media, friends, groups, etc. Take conscious care of when you’re inserting comparisons into your world.
Post Partum Depression and PP Anxiety – be self-aware. If more days than not are sad or if your worries are overwhelming, reach out to get help. It’s healable and treatable. Please reach out if you’re feeling loneliness or excessive worry!
Check out Postpartumprogress.com for a checklist of real-life symptoms and more information.
This is the section of the recap where I will give you all of the info brought up during check-in time from all of our 0-12 month Mommy and Me classes so that you can have the most resources possible!!