Relationship RX

The Nest's Noticings for the Week...

Favorite Product: Original Sprout Baby Body Wash and Shampoo
Parenting Resource or Tip:  Today we referenced the book: "How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids" a lot in our discussion!!
Baby Signs to Use: Mom, Dad, Love
Baby Songs to Sing:  Mary Had a Little Lamb, You are my Sunshine
Developmental Play Tip: Babies love socks – especially when they can empty out sock drawers. To play this game, roll several socks into balls and encourage her to try to throw them into the basket or bowl. When she’s ready for a change, put one of the socks on your hand as a puppet. Have the sock puppet talk to your baby, ask baby questions, point to baby’s body parts, etc.

Today's Topic:  RELATIONSHIP RX

Thank you for being so open and honest in class this week! We talked about SO much that is truly impossible to incapsulate in bullet points on a recap, but here are just a few of the major discussion points.

Specific strategies that we talked about trying out to help make our marriage after baby stronger were:

  • Zero Negativity Challenge - 30 day program - but we agreed even trying these for 3 days, or 1, would be helpful!
  • Coordinate schedules. Maybe assign each partner one evening per week as “their time” to be able to get together with friends, get hair done, etc.
  • Think of your weekend as seven units of time - intentionally block out a unit for leisure
  • Sex - like the Nike slogan - “just do it” ;)
  • Eliminate every instance of “decision fatigue”. (Ex. Have the same dinners every week)
  • Say thank you a lot.
  • Greet your partner when they come home with a smile and look them in the eyes.
  • Ask specifically for what you need.
  • Don't criticize the way your partner does chores - ask for help with the things that you think they'll do well!

Here are some of the big take-aways we talked about from "How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids" - I typed these directly from the book:

  • He can’t read your mind - communicate more directly. Men are more direct in speech than women within the context of relationships - 26% of men who were served divorce papers didn’t see it coming.
  • Stop complaining and ask clearly for what you want - have intentional conversations - be affectionate though unmovable - your husband isn’t helping or doing you a favor by helping with the house/kids, this is an even exchange of services. State the problem in a neutral way and appeal to his sense of fair play. Request, don’t demand, and use the magic word, “because”.
  • You don’t always have to eat the broken crackers
  • If a fight is brewing start with “I Statements"
  • Treating your spouse with consideration does not mean you are “caving”
  • Say thank you and say it often
  • Divest yourself of the “story you are making up”.
  • Kids can see you fight if you do it fairly.
  • Know that no matter what you and your spouse tell yourselves, your child is affected by your arguing. Period
  • Couples counseling is not always, in the words of my father, “a bunch a crap.”