The Motherhood Penalty

 This Week's Nest Noticings

Favorite Product: This Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple cream.
Parenting Resource: The Playfully App - gives you daily ideas for things you can do with your baby based on their development and milestone's they're working on!
Baby Signs to Use:  More, All Done
Baby Songs to Sing: 10 Little Monkeys, ABCs
Developmental Play Tip:  I know you've all heard that the "pots and pans" in your kitchen are great toys for your baby. It's a well-used phrase because it's true! There are many other non-toys that you can repurpose and use for your child! Some of my favorites in my kitchen are: muffin tins (great for sorting different things), egg crates, tongs, silicone muffin cups, dustpan and small broom, hot pad holders, oven mitts, all kids dishes, and measuring cups and spoons.

Today's Topic: MOTHERHOOD PENALTY and PICKING THE PERFECT PRESCHOOL

Motherhood Penalty

Today we talked about the Motherhood Penalty and the challenges facing us as moms as we return to work.  While the statistics on working mothers and discrimination in the workplace showcase that challenge, one of the keys to remember is to take a look at what works best for you, your career, and your family.  The key things that challenge us in today's traditional workplace include:

  • Prove It Again - Moms both put pressure on themselves to showcase that they can work at the same or higher level as before.  At the same time, employers and managers may consciously or unconsciously ask us to "prove" ourselves by taking on more responsibility, asking to stay late or change schedules last minute or other things to essentially ensure we are still "committed" to our work.
  • Maternal Wall - Employers / Managers make decisions for us due to our family commitments (e.g. we are moving you into a support function that has more flexibility -isn't that great now that you are a new mom!  Or - We didn't invite you to this client dinner because we knew you had to pick up your baby from daycare.)
  • Tightrope - Women, especially moms, are held to typical mother responsibilities in the office - taking notes in a meeting, picking up / setting up food for a conference, etc.
  • Mental Load - having to do all of the planning and strategy when it relates to all things baby related and often housework as well.  While partners often ask how they can help, they are asking us to delegate to them vs. taking full responsibility for a task from planning through execution.  

While these things can be subtle to overt, if you are feeling as though it's happening, reach out for help!  Find a mentor, talk to someone you trust in your organization, lean on the other mamas here at the Nest!  Speak up for what you need and want at work and remember that this feeling that we are failing at all sides will become less and less.  New mom brain is a real thing but it's temporary!  

Here is a link to the comic we talked about briefly.  https://www.workingmother.com/this-comic-perfectly-explains-mental-load-working-mothers-bear

Preschool

Here's the spreadsheet of preschools in the South Bay that we’ve made for our moms - based on Nest mom input and recommendations. Remember – this list is NOT COMPLETE and some details may be out of date. If we were to maintain this spreadsheet and include every school in the South Bay, it would be our full time job. ;) Also - all preschools are a combination of philosophies!! The box that we checked is the philosophy that was most predominant on the school's website or that Nest moms reported was most accurate of the school!

Here are two articles I really like about choosing a preschool: 
- 10 signs of a great preschool
- Mistakes Parents make when Choosing a Preschool